The First Three Months

I think every new parent is surprised about how little your baby can interact with you upon birth and the first few weeks. It's give, give, give without smiles or much recognition in return. I've never felt such personal sacrifice on behalf of someone (or two someones) else. I can remember the long nights of feeding every 3 hours. Breastfeeding still took 45 minutes so I would just getting back to deep-ish sleep when it was time to feed again. BJ was a star, getting up with me most nights to hold the other crying baby or change a diaper before the feed. We were walking zombies around the clock it felt like. But it was still an exciting time because we were getting to know each of them. Pierce and Blaine, our sons. We have sons! We looked back a few months later and referred to this period as putting in the hard work for all the rewarding times that laid ahead- the smiles, recognition as their mommy and daddy, the giggles.

I was tested beyond what I thought I could bare. I knew sleep deprivation would be the hardest thing for me and I was right! It's amazing how different you feel with/without sleep. I just didn't feel like myself most of the time. I felt heavy and overweight, tired, and full of milk! We thankfully had good help and support from my mom, sister, and dear friend Rachael. I can remember crying the night before BJ went back to work. I felt so overwhelmed about how to handle both babies. I think that's when I began my new mantra: One day at a time. And sometimes just one hour at a time!
Over the course of three months Pierce and Blaine went from scrawny, bird legged, teeny things to chubby smiley babies. I loved getting to know them and learning their personalities, individual noises, and seeing them come to life. They really were such great babies overall. I don't think we ever really experienced colic, but evenings were rough for sure. We used to take turns eating dinner and showering while the other juggled two fussy babies. They liked to be swaddled and slept in our room in their swings for the first 2 months because they both seemed to like the snugger feel. Pierce had his adorable sneeze coos and Blaine was our hungry hippo causing us to make up our famous chant "No one starves". Blaine came alive during bath time and earned the names "Kick Kick" and "Hip Hip" for his constant leg movements and hipping sound he would make and Pierce could melt a heart with his deep stare and bright blue eyes. We started getting consistent smiles and could have fun playtime on the floor with both babies during brother time. Every now and then they would lock eyes and just stare at each other. Talk about heart melting!

There really wasn’t much of a schedule during this time and I can remember longing for one. My need for structure has been reinforced over and over! We stayed pretty close to home because they were still eating every three hours, although after several weeks feedings started getting a little faster. I remember how hard it was during many a feeding when one baby (usually Pierce) would cry the entire time I fed the first baby (usually Blaine). It broke my heart and elicited of feeling of panic and helplessness. I kept having to remind myself that the crying won’t hurt them and they are both learning patience as I juggled both of them alone most days.

We earned our parent badges during this time, but it was all worth it.